screenplay for a college project

[nicolas_arson]

this a screenplay for a college project to be filmed at easter. i would really appreciate it if u would read it and gimme you opinions so i know wot to change. thanks

INT. CARAVAN ? NIGHT

FADE IN TO SHOT 1:
The group of four main characters are seen sat at the table playing poker from a HIGH ANGLE STATIC 4L/S.
CUT TO SHOT 2,3,4+5:
Each character is shown individually using STATIC M/S of whoever is talking. Shot 2 begins the sequence as Nadia starts talking
NADIA
(in posh, lady-like voice)
one will meet your ten, and raise it 15
DAN
(in American surfer voice)
whoa?dude?chill-out babe?I?ll raise you five?but only coz I?m nice
ELISE
(in stereotypical afro-american woman?s voice)
only coz you?re stoned, big man! I?ll raise ten??and where is my Romeo?
MATT
(in Texan/hillbilly accent)
yeee-haaaa, I cannot lose, I?m raising 20! Put on the stove ma, I?m bringin home the catch!
CUT TO SHOT 6: REPEAT OF SHOT 1
all four burst out laughing and it becomes apparent they were just messing around with joke voices

MATT
(in regular voice)
I?m sorry, I couldn?t resist.

CUT TO SHOT 7-17:
REPEATS OF 2,3,4+5. SHOT 7 IS THE NEXT LINE OF DIALOGUE

I fold. I wanna talk business anyway.
Matt takes a sip of his glass of Jack Daniel?s
NADIA
Yeah I guess. We gotta plan this perfect or we will screw it up.
(puts down her cards)
We?ll run through it one more time
ELISE
We?re gonna run through it 3 times a day until the real thing
DAN
Ok, that?s fair enough??but first??what was the name of the lead actor in Dazed and Confused? Plus?bonus points for the name of the Kevin smith film he later appeared in?
NADIA
I know he was in Mallrats, he played TS.
DAN
No bonus points without answering the original question, Nadia, you know the rules
NADIA
Oh come on, one point, please? I promise next time you-
MATT
(with right arm raised straight above his head and wrist clenched)
Jeremy London, also starred in The Babysitter and a recent two-part TV movie re-make of Jason and the Argonauts. Still, Dazed and Confused is his best work to date in my opinion. **** he looked good in that film
NADIA
**** !
ELISE
Guys, c?mon, we?ve gotta concentrate
DAN
Yeah sorry, honey, it just came to me and I had ask
NADIA
Doesn?t scare you guys how much we talk and know about films. How much random and pointless **** we managed to regurgitate on such a regular basis
MATT
We?re media students, films are our lives, that?s just the way it is
ELISE
(dropping a hint but giving a command at the same time)
Well let?s get started then!
MATT
(writing in a notebook)
Ok, just a sec, I?ve just gotta put my points in the book
NADIA
Do it later, for **** ?s sake, we?ve got work to do

MATT
Just coz you couldn?t remember his name and I knew two other pieces of his work doesn?t mean-
ELISE
Just write it in the fuckin? book and lets start!
MATT
(closing and putting the book down)
Ok, ok I?m done??Jesus
Right, here we go. We?ve got one week, that?s seven days, starting at 1:15pm tomorrow, exactly
CUT TO SHOT 18+19:
M/S from over shoulder of an opposite sat member of the group to who is talking
ELISE
The Securicor squad arrive at 1:13pm prompt and I mean prompt, these guys are on time, every time, no two ways about it. They?ll then take 2 minutes to reach the vault, which is down a 100ft corridor at the rear of the bank. At this point we?ll arrive and enter the bank
We close the bank down, I move all civilians + staff into the far corner, whilst Nadia pins the sheet over the front door
CUT TO SHOT 19
MATT
By the time crowd control is complete, the Securicor squad should be finishing emptying the vault. As they are doing, Elise and myself will be on them with the gas and the cash will already be emptied and ready to be moved out. Any questions?
END SCENE
EXT. OUTSIDE CARAVAN - DAY
CUT TO SHOT 20: STATIC L/S OF WHOLE GROUP
The group are sat outside the caravan in a line, side by side in the sun, all wearing shades, drinking beer, orange juice, ******nnay etc.
MATT
Elise and I will be onto them with the gas and the cash will already be emptied and ready to be moved out. Any questions?

DAN
How will we prevent staff from setting the alarm off before we have chance to move them?

CUT TO SHOT 21:
M/S of Elise sat in her chair drinking an elaborate cocktail
She gives a subtle smile to herself as she contemplates the answer
She keeps looking straight ahead as she answers

ELISE
A week today, the police station to which the bank is connected is going through routine security updates, including the renewal of site-to-station alarm systems. This renewal is due to disable the system for half an hour at 12:50pm, leaving us with a window of five minutes from arrival to get the staff out from their stations and on the floor
She smiles to herself again and takes a sip of the cocktail
DAN
(from OC, reaching to hold Elise?s hand)
I love it when you know what you?re talking about
CUT TO: SHOT 22
M/S of each character as they speak
MATT
One more thing
CUT TO: SHOT 23
ELISE
What?
CUT TO: SHOT 24
MATT
Who directed From Dusk till Dawn?
CUT TO: SHOT 25
ELISE
Tarantino
CUT TO: SHOT 26
MATT
(raising his finger and pointing upwards)
Wrong
CUT TO: SHOT 27
ELISE
(******* forward in disbelief and looking down the line to matt)
What!?!
CUT TO: SHOT 28
DAN
Robert Rodriguez
CUT TO: SHOT 29
4L/S to show whole group (same as shot 20)
MATT
Correct, get your points in the book Danny boy!
ELISE
Robert Rodriguez? I swear, that film reeks Tarantino
NADIA
He wrote it
ELISE
**** , of course. I knew that
CUT TO SHOT 30:
M/S from side on to Matt?s head but angled to the front just enough to reveal the rest of the group
DAN
You know, I think I?m gonna employ the Rodriguez method.
MATT
Explain
DAN
I?ll make **** movies, over and over again until people begin to believe they?re good and they give me a job
MATT
Hahaaa!
CUT TO SHOT 31:
STATIC 4L/S (same as shot 29)
Slight pause + silence. Matt gets up, walks down the line and into the caravan. The silence remains, the remaining three sip their drinks simultaneously. He returns with two plastic swords, dropping one in Dan?s lap.
CUT TO SHOT 32:
M/S of Dan from front
MATT
(from OC)
Let?s fight

CUT TO SHOT 33:
STATIC L/S, Dan puts down his beer and stands. He holds the sword horizontally, closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and slowly pulls of the sheath and opens his eyes
DAN
(leaping OC)
aaaarrrgggghhh!!!

CUT TO SHOT 34:
STATIC 2M/S, Nadia and Elise are sat adjacent, calmly
Slaps of plastic and grunting can be heard from OC as the fighting continues
NADIA
(lightly shaking head)
Kids
ELISE
Hardly keeping a low profile is it?
Dan and Matt appear in background fighting
NADIA
You seemed a little tense at the table last night
ELISE
I am a bit tense that?s why
NADIA
About the job?
ELISE
About the job. We just really don?t seem like we can pull this off, and I really don?t wanna go to-
NADIA
Hey! No-one?s goin? anywhere, ok?
ELISE
Ok. Lets just enjoy the holiday, just in case, yeah?
NADIA
That?s more like it
Nadia reaches down OC and the music raises and she sits back and sips her drink
FADE OUT:
END SCENE

FADE IN TO SHOT 35:
INT. CONVIENIENCE STORE ? DAY
2M/S of Matt + Dan facing a magazine rack looking at film and music magazines with backs to camera.
They do not look at each other at any point in the shot, they just keep looking at the magazines
MATT
So??Elise seems a little tense at the moment
DAN
I know, I don?t know why, she isn?t usually like that.
MATT
Are we usually planning to steal 800 grand from a bank?
DAN
You think she?s worried about the job?
MATT
Well, yeah.
CUT TO SHOT 36:
2MC/U profile shot of Dan, Matt now moved and is facing camera at far side of Dan
MATT
Look, maybe you should sit down with her, have a chat, let her know everything?s under control, y?know?
DAN
Yeah sure
MATT
The last thing we need is her breakin? up at this point in the proceedings.
CUT TO SHOT 37:
2M/S (same as shot 35) Matt moves back into his original stance
DAN
Ok, ok, I?ll talk to her tonight but don?t expect me to ? holy **** !
MATT
What now?
DAN
(reading from a magazine)
?Pre-production is now in full swing after the go-ahead was given for Twokking Zombies 2 by Film Four Productions?
CUT TO SHOT 38:
2MC/U (same as shot 36)
MATT
Holy **** ! You gotta be kidding me! We only sold 87 DVD copies of the original and only 13 were sent out to companies
DAN
Well obviously one of the companies liked it
MATT
There was no dialogue!
CUT TO SHOT 39:
2M/S (same as shot 37) Matt stays in a side on stance facing Dan
DAN
?A spokesperson for Untamed Aggression Films said ?we are delighted about the new deal and believe it will lead to a great success??
MATT
Spokesperson!? I don?t believe it. A sequel to my first movie being made by film four.
DAN
Oh, hang on, sorry, read it wrong
CUT TO SHOT 40:
2MC/U (same as shot 38)
MATT
What did you read wrong?
DAN
They?re re-making the original at feature length as well as making the sequel!
CUT TO SHOT 41:

2M/S (same as shot 39) there is a short pause as Matt stares at Dan. Dan still has not looked up from the magazine.
Matt suddenly turns and walks of shot
DAN
Terminator 4?
END OF SCENE

CUT TO SHOT 42:
EXT. CAMPSITE - DAY
VL/S of Matt walking towards left of camera. As he approaches and passes, camera PANS to follow him, revealing that he is walking towards the caravan. Nadia and Elise are sat outside
CUT TO SHOT 43:
M/S from behind the girls, their silhouettes framing Matt who is approaching with an open, folded back magazine in hand.
MATT
(dropping magazine on Nadia?s lap)
Have you read this?
CUT TO SHOT 44:
3M/S of the girls sat.
Matt comes into shot with a chair and sits down

NADIA
Terminator 4?
ELISE
(glancing over at the magazine)
ooh, is that this month?s
MATT
Not the terminator 4 bit, the article above
NADIA
(reading from magazine)
?LET THE TWOKKING COMMENCE?
ELISE
You what?
NADIA
(reading from magazine)
?Pre-production is now in full swing after the go-ahead was given for Twokking Zombies remake + Twokking Zombies 2 by Film Four Productions?
ELISE
WHAT?!
NADIA
(reading from magazine)
?The zombie short achieved cult status on the internet after a small number of DVD copies were produced and sold by it?s makers at Untamed Aggression Films. A spokesperson for Untamed Aggression Films said ?we are delighted about the new deal and believe it will lead to a great success??
ELISE
I never knew you guys were goin? commercial with that thing. Or that you?d achieved ?cult status?
MATT
The reason for that being, neither did I! They want to remake the original into a feature length production AND make the sequel!
NADIA
Surely you?re gonna make a fortune from this. You can forget about the jog, you?ll make ten times that on the film
MATT
I doubt it. I was just an actor, nothing to do with Untamed Aggression Films. There were no contracts signed, there?s no legal obligations.

thats it, so far. more to be writen but basically it covers a week of thier holiday in which the encounter various problem and suprises as they plan the robbery.

[deanl]

Hey there.

Man shooting scripts are a pain in the chuff to read. All your camera direction and shot numers ruin the flow. Do you have a "normal" version?

Despin out.

[deanl]

Hey there.

I do like the flow of the script. I just dont believe the situation. I like it when they sit about and talk movies. I also like the references to the movies you guys have made. I just dont believe the whole robbery thing.

So are you untamedaggression? A friend?

Ive actualy seen Twatting Zombies so It made me giggle to read about in the script.

So if your are untamedaggression, keep it up man. I like your site. I think your a funny guy who loves movies. Good on ya.

Despin out.

[nicolas_arson]

hey man, thanks alot for your replies.
i dont hav regular version of it, just ona with the carmera stuff.
i agree it ruins the flow, unfortunately it looks sh*t on here, i just copy and pasted it on and it didnt work v.well.

i know the story is a bit weak, but i only started writing it yesturday without really thinking about it. it was gonna b one of those 'you don't know why, it just is' kinda stories but i shall re-think

untamed aggression is my mate's website and we've started makin stuf together since we met at college so whenever we make somethin we say it was done by untamed aggression films.

well thanks again

[spaceham]

Not that it matters, but: While Jeremy London did star as T.S. Quint in Mallrats, it was his twin brother Jason who was in 'Dazed and Confused' and 'Jason and the Argonauts'.

[Phaethon]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">DAN
You know, I think I’m gonna employ the Rodriguez method.
MATT
Explain
DAN
I’ll make **** movies, over and over again until people begin to believe they’re good and they give me a job </font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>


Where do you get the balls (or lack thereof) to disrespect Robert Rodriguez?

[nicolas_arson]

fear not good friend, it was merely a qoute of a good buddy of mine which i have just discovered is worded slightly wrong.
changes will be made immediatly as i do in fact admire rody greatly

[Phaethon]

Okay, good. We can't have none of that. We're cool.